Louis van Gaal has blamed Manchester United’s latest thumping defeat on an old gypsy curse.
Looking round wildly at a press conference following their latest humiliation, van Gaal explained that the club’s recent performance could easily be explained by Sir Alex Ferguson refusing to buy some clothes pegs and lucky white heather on his last day in the job.
Everything that has happened in the last three years can be traced back to that blunder, he continued.
The wording of the curse is apparently:
“Bad seasons you will have full three, not to blame the Dutchman be.”
So really the recent poor performance can’t be blamed on him.
A spokesman for Manchester United confirmed that van Gaal hadn’t been quite the same ever since the ghost of Matt Busby crawled out of his television and tried to murder him.