New US gun laws to require firearm dealers to ask ‘Are you sure?’

author avatar by 8 years ago

Barack Obama is to introduce tough you gun controls that will force anyone selling a gun to ask potential customers ‘are you sure?’ before handing over the firearm.

“For long, it has been far too simple a matter to obtain a gun,” said the President as he announced the new plans.

“Obviously, the sensible thing to do would be to ban outright any item designed primarily to kill living things, but sadly I share a country with the sort of folk who think that the best way to make everything less shooty is to give everyone more guns.

“So, as a compromise, we will introduce a law that will force the dealer to ask ‘are you sure?’ Giving any potential psychopath valuable seconds to really evaluate his lifestyle choice before getting all Rambo-ed up.

“We think this may stop as many two mass shootings which is nearly 0.5% of all annual mass shootings in the US.

NewsThump Hoodies

“Surely even the NRA and Congress can’t oppose such a mild reform.”

The NRA and Congress have announced that they will loudly oppose the mild reform.

“Hell no!” exclaimed NRA President Wayne LaPierre.

“It is the God-given right of all Americans to contribute to the multi-billion dollar domestic arms industry by gunning down their fellow citizens without some two-bit peckerwood asking them ‘Are you sure?'”

Mr Obama is understood to have modified his ambition to make America safer than all warzones to making it safer than some warzones.