Tuesday 5 January 2016 by Neil Tollfree

New US gun laws to require firearm dealers to ask ‘Are you sure?’

Obama gun laws

Barack Obama is to introduce tough you gun controls that will force anyone selling a gun to ask potential customers ‘are you sure?’ before handing over the firearm.

“For long, it has been far too simple a matter to obtain a gun,” said the President as he announced the new plans.

“Obviously, the sensible thing to do would be to ban outright any item designed primarily to kill living things, but sadly I share a country with the sort of folk who think that the best way to make everything less shooty is to give everyone more guns.

“So, as a compromise, we will introduce a law that will force the dealer to ask ‘are you sure?’ Giving any potential psychopath valuable seconds to really evaluate his lifestyle choice before getting all Rambo-ed up.

“We think this may stop as many two mass shootings which is nearly 0.5% of all annual mass shootings in the US.

“Surely even the NRA and Congress can’t oppose such a mild reform.”

The NRA and Congress have announced that they will loudly oppose the mild reform.

“Hell no!” exclaimed NRA President Wayne LaPierre.

“It is the God-given right of all Americans to contribute to the multi-billion dollar domestic arms industry by gunning down their fellow citizens without some two-bit peckerwood asking them ‘Are you sure?'”

Mr Obama is understood to have modified his ambition to make America safer than all warzones to making it safer than some warzones.

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