Oregon ranchers stage huge Brokeback Mountain flash mob

author avatar by 8 years ago

150 survivalists have retreated to an Oregon wilderness to stage the largest ever reenactment of Brokeback Mountain.

The all-male group took off over the new year after telling their families they were going “hunting” before retreating to the craggy hilltop cabin under the power of desperate urges they could no longer deny.

The group claim they are protesting a world which does not understand why a man might grow a moustache, wear army surplus gear and hang out doing ‘normal, manly things’ with a few dozen buddies in a single room mountain shack.

It is believed the cowboys are heavily armed after they announced to the world they were “packing”, and the National Guard confirmed they had intercepted communications suggesting the group has “loads of poppers.”

Showing us one of his guns, survivalist Simon-Bob Williams told us “Look here at this purty l’il baby, and how long and hard his barrel is.

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“Why I bet I could blow a man straight to heaven. With this gun, I mean.

“Yeah. Mmmm. Blow a man. To heaven.

“…with a gun. Yes.”

The US government is waiting for developments due to being uncertain whether “coming down” means the group intend to surrender peacefully or the nitrous oxide is wearing off.