UNICEF Syrian donations to be delivered by guided missile

author avatar by 7 years ago

UNICEF is saving on postage for its Syria appeal, by delivering donations by guided UN bombs.

The United Nations Children’s Fund noticed that families were suffering from an inexplicable reduction in houses and relatives, which started at around the time their parent body approved air raids.

“To say that an appeal is the least we can do is understating matters a little,” explained the organization’s head, Anthony Lake.

“But if we’re going to keep bombing them, we might as well take advantage of the free postage. I think it’s what our analysts call ‘synergy’.”

In a happy coincidence, the new precision delivery system should prevent aid falling into the hands of families that have been bombed by the Russians.

“That just goes to prove that Putin doesn’t have the people of Syria’s well-being in mind. I think it’s pretty clear who are the bad guys.”