Donald Trump has benefited from the ‘Thatcher Effect’, after he appeared during last night’s Republican debate wearing a recently purchased blue dress.
Gently modified to conceal a handgun and up to three hand grenades, Trump explained that the gussets were only one reason he’d bid on the outfit.
“It’s true that there are some things that money can’t buy,” said Trump.
“Fortunately, I’m so rich that I’m yet to find out what they are, or for anyone to tell me why I shouldn’t have bought them.”
Trump explained that Maggie Thatcher had inspired him as a child, because she had shown that people would elect bat-shit crazy capitalists even if they suffered from completely unrealistic hair.
“I’ve also bought her flayed skin, complete with bouffant scalp,” he revealed.
“I just need to have it taken in a little around the crotch: it appears she was rather better endowed than I am.”
Also bought by Trump were a number of the Iron Lady’s speeches.
“Although on reflection I’m not going to use them,” he admitted.
“They might make me seem a bit too out of touch.”