British women celebrate ‘fattest in Europe’ title with a nice slice of cake

author avatar by 8 years ago

Women across the UK have reacted positively to being crowned the ‘fattest women in Europe’ by toasting each other with a nice bit of cake.

Data agency Eurostat looked at 19 countries, and found nearly a quarter of UK women – 23.9% – were recorded as being attractive only after five or more pints of strong continental lager.

The UK’s men will have to settle for second place after the men of Mediterranean island Malta saw a diet of kebabs lead them to a narrow first place.

Obese British woman Tracey Matthews told us, “It’s nice to be recognised for our lack of effort, at last.”

“For years when people talked about fat European women you would automatically picture an elderly Greek women celebrating a family wedding, or an Italian family matriarch berating her grandchildren – but now you can legitimately picture British women walking up the High Street in shell suits.”

“It’s certainly a proud moment for this great nation of ours.”

UK women Europe’s biggest

Though the number one position has only just been secured, steps are already being taken to ensure further titles are won for many years to come.

Matthews went on, “Just this morning Krispy Kreme announced that it is doubling its number of UK outlets, so with commercial backing like this I can see us being the leading obesity proponents in Europe well into the next century.”

“Or at least until the league decides to let in the Americans.”