You have been mis-sold absolutely everything, finds survey

Every penny you’ve ever spent on anything at all was completely unnecessary and the complete fault of someone who works in marketing, a new survey has revealed today.

With mis-selling accusations now something you can make money from, it appears that every penny that has ever passed through your hands went to someone who mis sold you something.

Consumer Simon Williams told us, “What began with the mis-selling of payment protection insurance and the mis-selling of bank services, has now led right down to me being mis-sold this loaf of bread this morning.”

“Look, did I really need organic wholemeal granary bread? No, I did not, it was the packaging that made me buy it.”

“Packaging that was designed by a marketing executive somewhere in an office with one task and one task only – to con me into buying something I really don’t need.”

“I could have lived perfectly well on the cheap white stuff, but no, they had to try to up-sell me something I absolutely did not need.”

“If that is not the very definition of mis-selling then I don’t know what is?”

“It’s disgusting and I look forward to my sizeable compensation payment.”

Mis-selling accusations

The Office of Fair Trading have said they will look into the numerous accusations of mis-selling of absolutely everything coming in from absolutely everyone.

An OFT spokesperson told us, “We take accusations of mis-selling very seriously, and though Mr Williams complaint does sounds a little frivolous, a cursory look at his case does seem to indicated that everything he’s ever bought was completely unnecessary.”

“Oh Christ. Can open. Worms everywhere.”