Wednesday 9 July 2014

‘Worst day of my life’, says Brazilian millionaire who plays games for living

Brazil World Cup tragedy

A Brazilian millionaire who kicks a ball around for his job, described losing a sports match as the worst day of his life yesterday.

In an apparently sincere statement, the Brazilian footballer explained that losing 7-1 to Germany in a World Cup semi-final is definitely the worst thing that had ever happened to him, and that recovery would take a long time.

Football fan Simon Williams explained, “To be fair, he’s a millionaire football playboy, so in comparison to spending your days rolling in cash, kicking a ball around in the sunshine for a bit, and then being greeted at home by a supermodel – maybe this really is the worst day of his life?”

“He should try a morning in the Job Centre.”

“The previous worst day in his life probably included a trip to a cashpoint that insisted on giving him £20 notes and not the £50s he’s used to.”

“He probably cried for a week after that one.”

Brazil humiliated

Brazilian footballers have been told that absolutely everyone is struggling to have any sympathy for them whatsoever.

Williams went on, “Look, getting humiliated by the Germans is a rite of passage for just about every footballing nation. They’ll get over it, eventually. It’s not like England still goes on about the Italia 90 semi-final.”

“Look on the brightside – he could be English, and if it’s a German Argentine final, he would literally want both sides to lose.”

“Now, that’s a really bad day.”

“Come on the Dutch!”

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