Wednesday 9 July 2014 by Roy Bland

Britain’s low paid wondering if they can ‘upgrade to slavery’

Wage slave, modern slavery bill

Thousands of Britain’s low paid workers are wondering if they can upgrade to slavery as a result of the Modern Slavery Bill.

“It would be great if I could be employed as a slave,” said Edith Hill who works as a night cleaner in the Treasury.

“At least somebody would notice me.”

“I’ve seen those slavery films on TV, and they might not get paid, but at least they get regular meals and a roof over their head.”

“By the time I’ve used my pittance of a wage to pay the rent and buy food I’ve actually lost money – so slavery sounds pretty good about now.”

“Do you happen to know if this slavery deal includes dental?”

Slavery popular again

Amazon worker Tom Wilton said he was seeking clarification from his MP to check if he was covered by the Modern Slavery Bill.

He told us, “I don’t want to get my hopes of freedom up just yet, but it seems like working to be worse off than you’d be if you weren’t working is a lot like slavery.”

“If Amazon rented my house to me, sold me my food and supplied my utilities I’m guessing you’d call them some ‘sort of racketeers’.”

“Actually, I suppose I shouldn’t be giving them ideas.”

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