Tony Blair’s opinions expected to remain completely irrelevant

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The opinions of former Prime Minister Tony Blair are expected to remain completely irrelevant despite their continued appearance in news stories.

With newspapers and television networks keen to attach the thoughts of Mr Blair to coverage of virtually any news story, the public have been quick to point out that they couldn’t give the tiniest of shits what the former prime minister thinks.

“It doesn’t matter what the story is about, media outlets seem convinced that I care about Tony Blair’s opinion,” said 34 year-old Gareth McCabe.

“Why would I be remotely interested in the views of someone who’s full of more bollocks than a Tesco Value sausage?”

Tony Blair has opinions

Asked for his opinion on people not caring about his opinion, Mr Blair was quick to offer his opinion.

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“It would be foolish to dismiss my views,” he insisted.

“My opinion would be that people of the opinion that my opinions are irrelevant, are too opinionated.”

“36 million people worldwide protested against the Iraq War, so you could say that I’m a bit of an expert when it comes to dismissing people’s opinions as irrelevant.”