Hodgson praises England players’ virus passing game

England boss Roy Hodgson has praised his young starlets’ ability to pass a virus to each other and is hoping they can do the same thing with a football, according to reports.

The virus, which may have originated in John Terry’s groin, was played beautifully out of the defence and out to Theo Walcott who was waiting patiently on the wing.

Walcott suffered violent stomach cramps before neatly laying the virus off to Daniel Sturridge after a deft one-two with Leighton Baines.

The virus has since been passed around neatly to the rest of the squad leaving Hodgson with a choice of only eight players and Peter Crouch.

Hodgson said, “Young Theo showed great vision with the initial pass to Sturridge.”

“Daniel is now hunched up in a ball suffering from chronic diarrhoea, which is something we’ve been working in training.”

“The way he’s gone down with illness there is absolutely textbook.”

England illnesses

Hodgson continued, “I’ve urged the team to play the virus short – in neat little triangles like Barcelona, that way they get to keep it rather than surrendering it to the opposition.”

Hodgson is now urging his players to think of the football as a big leathery type of virus, which is also round.

“Like I say, I think it may have started with John Terry because when I mentioned a possible recall for Rio Ferdinand, he completely shat himself,” he added.