After the BBC announced plans to reshape its TV schedules to cut 20% from its budget, viewers revealed that the easy solution is to axe all the programmes that they don’t personally like, but keep the ones that they do.
The BBC have admitted that they face a difficult task in deciding which programmes to cut in light of every single one of their viewers having such faultless taste.
“All viewers believe that the programmes they like are significantly better than the ones that they don’t like,” revealed Director General Mark Thompson.
“They spend hours writing us long letters and emails telling us that we should stop making the programmes that they don’t enjoy and demanding that we make more of the ones that they do.”
“They often make compelling arguments like ‘Doctor Who is gay’ or the equally convincing ‘Doctor Who isn’t gay’.”
“Sometimes they even provide barely-legible lists of ‘garbage vs quality’ for us to review. It’s all very helpful, really.”
Viewers have concurred with Thompson’s findings and have been quick to offer him some words of advice to help in the decision-making process.
“As a license payer I feel it is my duty to inform the BBC every time I have watched an entire programme that I don’t like,” insisted 46 year old Miriam Frimley.
“By doing this I think that it will help educate the people who make the mistake of enjoying things that don’t appeal to me personally.”
32 year old Gavin Jenkins was also eager for the BBC to make the necessary changes to ensure that its output consisted entirely of programmes that he likes.
“I don’t pay my license fee for the BBC to make programmes that I don’t like,” he said, angrily.
“I would say that currently I only enjoy about 10% of what’s on BBC 1. That’s 90% of the money they spend on that channel being completely wasted!”