Rising petrol prices could damage quality of rioting, warn nationalists

Nationalists in Belfast have warned that the rising cost of petrol could seriously impact upon the ability of angry mobs to carry out rioting to required television standards.

The warning comes after it was revealed that some rioters at last night’s disturbances had to resort to throwing stones and masonry in an attempt to get across how thoroughly annoyed they are.

Nationalists have urged the government to do all it can to help beleaguered troublemakers undertake the unlawful activities that they insist are essential.

“There’s no comparison between the sight of a petrol bomb lighting up the nigh-time sky and that of a stone bouncing feebly of a policeman’s riot shield,” insisted one frustrated nutjob.

“If we don’t have the right tools to do the job then we will struggle to deliver.”

Petrol prices

The government has played down the concerns and highlighted the ingenuity of some protesters who hijacked a bus and drove it at police.

“We’ve been saying for some time that people should start using public transport, and we’re glad that message is finally getting through.” Said a government spokesperson.