Beckham daughter named after father’s IQ

The Beckham family has announced their newest arrival by telling reporters that the little girl was named after her father’s Intelligence Quotient.

There were rumours that Harper Seven Beckham was given the middle name ‘seven’ after her father’s Manchester United number, but sources have confirmed it is actually based on his latest failed Mensa application.

A family friend told us, “I know some people think it’s to do with football, but that’s ridiculous – football is such a transient part of Beckham’s life.  But he will always have that IQ.”

“I think they’re pleased with her name.  Like David told me, seven out of ten isn’t too bad, and is like 65% or something. I really didn’t have the heart to correct him.”

Beckham daughter

People with far too much time on their hands have been keen to see the first photo of the newborn, but have been consistently reminded ‘it’s just a bloody baby’.

As one fan observed, “This child is sure to have a golden future, what with his natural talent, and her ability to spot a marketing opportunity.”

“Of course, there’s always the risk she’ll have her natural talent, and his numerical skills.”

“In which case I hear Aldi is hiring.”

Advertisement

NewsThumpNotebooks

Somewhere to write down everything that’s wrong with the world. You may need several.

See the full collection →