Computer error let Rupert Murdoch enter UK, claim Border Agency

author avatar by 12 years ago

The Home Office is urgently investigating how a billionaire media mogul was able to freely enter the UK, despite the government pretending to have doubts over his character.

David Cameron and other Conservatives have recently been forced into feigning a lack of complete obedience to Rupert Murdoch after public outrage over allegations against News International staff.

“We are currently looking into how this could have happened to a multi-million pound computer system as a matter of utmost importance,” a Border Agency spokesman announced.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say there could have been some hacking involved.”

“It appears that warnings over certain individuals could not be communicated to Heathrow staff electronically.”

“As a result, a paper alert was circulated – which appears to have failed. It was probably the last edition of the News of the World.”

Murdoch slips through

David Cameron has recently been mysteriously absent from the media spotlight, leaving Culture Secretary Jeremy Hunt to manufacture the government’s highly transparent denials and excuses.

Hunt admitted, “Since public derision has grown over the last few days, I have no choice but to refer this matter to the Border Control Agency.”

“They are free to consider all the new facts in order to make their decision – as long as it’s the same as the last one.”

“The Coalition government pledges to remain united in pacifying the media with some non-committal quotes, whilst privately toeing Mr Murdoch’s line as religiously as ever.”