Lame Dog Dumping Man and Cat In A Bin Woman to form ‘axis of moderately cruel’

author avatar by 13 years ago

A new super villain called Lame Dog Dumping Man has teamed up with scourge of the nation, Cat in a Bin Woman, to wage a war of moderate cruelty against every man, woman and child in the UK.

Lame Dog Dumping Man, who was caught on CCTV abandoning a poor, defenceless dog with a truly heartbeaking limp, has warned that he and Cat In A Bin Woman intend to travel the country taunting cuddly animals and defenseless children with acts of outrageous cruelty.

“I’ve already smeared some meat paste on the back of a labrador and filmed him desperately rolling around trying to reach it,” revealed the complete bastard.

“That’s just for starters. Cat bin woman crept up behind a tabby really quitely and then shouted BANG! Wait until you see the footage, it jumps at least five feet in the air. It’s mint!”

“Just a few minutes ago I pushed an eight year-old girl into the canal.  I don’t know why I do it, but it’s just so funny.”

Lame Dog Dumping

Angry members of the public have revealed their anguish at the latest footage of the shocking treatment carried out by heartless scum, with some claiming that we should join forces to rid the world of such evil.

One outraged citizen told us, “I’ve bulit a specially constructed Outrage bus and it’s already full to capacity.”

“Wherever there is the opportunity to dish out justice that is completely out of proportion with the crime, we will be there!”

“Wherever there is something to get really worked up about despite there being plenty of other stuff going on which is significantly more disturbing, we will be there!”

“To the Outrage bus!”