‘Laa Laa Cactus The Lizard Cameron’ sounds much better, say Big Society

In the first real test of the coalition Government’s ‘big society’ rhetoric, the British people last night voted to amend the name of the Prime Minister’s new baby from ‘Florence Rose Endellion Cameron’ to ‘Laa Laa Cactus The Lizard Cameron’.

David and Samantha Cameron were this week holidaying in Cornwall when Samantha was admitted to the Royal Cornwall Hospital in Truro, where their new baby was delivered Tuesday lunchtime by Parcelforce.

The prime minister said he had left it to Samantha to come up with the baby’s name, but Cameron’s Big Society decided they could do better, especially regarding the link-with-Cornwall bit, and subsequently organised a vote on the subject.

A spokesman told us, “We spotted there was clearly a ‘kid’s TV character/ thorny prickly object/ place in Cornwall’ template being used for the baby’s name, and so we used this formula to fashion a moniker that we think will stand the child in good stead in later life.”

Endellion Cameron

The new name given to the child by the big society was not a hasty choice, a spokesperson explaining that there were some disagreements on what should be the final version.

“After a heated nationwide debate at grass roots level, it was a toss-up between ‘Laa Laa Cactus The Lizard’ Cameron and ‘Igglepiggle Spiny Anteater Padstow’ Cameron.”

“Though we think ‘Scrappy-Doo Porcupine Land’s End’ Cameron and ‘Dora The Explorer Gorsebush Bodmin Moor’ Cameron also deserve an honourable mention.”

“This is Cameron’s ‘big society’ in action. The people have spoken. Go on, guys, amend your child’s birth certificate by the people’s will. That’s: Laa Laa. Cactus. The Lizard. Cameron.”

“This is a perfect example of society taking an interest in the lives of others – for free. Which is what he wants, right?” concluded the spokesman.

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