Friday 17 March 2017 by Neil Tollfree

Rupert Murdoch launches bid to take over people’s dreams


Rupert Murdoch takeover

Media mogul Rupert Murdoch has announced that he intends to launch a takeover bid for people’s dreams.

He currently owns 21st Century Fox, various newspapers, and is currently attempting a complete takeover of Sky (The media organisation, not the atmospheric region. Although there are rumours he is looking at media advantages of owning the actual sky).

“It has come to my attention that people have a facility to create and enjoy narratives in their own minds while they sleep,” said Mr Murdoch.

“It seems to me that with my experience in media, I would be able to better leverage the opportunities presented by these ‘dreams’.”

There is some concern that if Mr Murdoch was successful in his attempt to take over people’s dreams that he would introduce intrusive advertising.

“It is true that there would have to be some advertising in your dreams,” he confirmed.

“But they would be highly targeted and created to address the individual’s personal needs and desires; it would tie into a variety of subscription options that would ensure that dreams would remain accessible and affordable to all.”

It is understood that if Mr Murdoch was successful in his bid to take over people’s dreams, he will mainly be showing Simpsons repeats.

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