The Conservative Party have responded to calls for a general election by pointing at Jeremy Corbyn and laughing uncontrollably.
The Party, who have been fined £70,000 for overspending during the 2015 election campaign, may face several by-elections as contests which breached rules have to be re-run – leaving Prime Minister Theresa May snorting tea out of her nose at the level of competition she will have to face.
Polls conducted after the news broke reveal that the Tories hold a mere 13-point lead over Labour – their lowest level of support for over a year – whilst Corbyn enjoyed a bounce to almost positive figures in his satisfaction ratings.
Analysts predict that on current polling, if a general election were called immediately the Conservatives might be returned with a mere 50-seat majority, such is the strength of the opposition campaign against them.
Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has already strongly addressed the issue of electoral fraud by sipping at a nice cup of refreshing nettle tea and telling supporters that the fight will begin just as soon as he’s finished the pot.
Reports from Westminster insiders suggest that many Labour MPs are privately lobbying the government not to call an immediate election, saying that Jeremy doesn’t mean it really and he just gets leery when he’s had too much Damson Jam.
“At least this way we won’t lose our offices and salaries until 2020,” one told us.