Sunday 26 February 2017 by Neil Tollfree

White House press pool now consists of Hello magazine and the Beano


Sean Spicer white house press pool

After a series of bans by White House Secretary Sean Spicer, the only media organisations left in the formal briefings are Hello magazine and the Beano.

The banning of major news organisations began yesterday morning when reporters from the BBC, CNN, and the New York Times were found bound, gagged and shot gangland style in an alley several blocks over from the White House.

“I don’t know anything about the killings,” claimed a blood stained Mr Spicer.

“But if I did, I would say that they were what you get for criticism of the President.”

The broadly pro-Trump Fox News was then banned after President Trump found footage of a review of Home Alone 2, in which he briefly appeared, which described the film as ‘a disappointing rehash’.

However, Hello Magazine is understood to have found favour with the White House by responding to the President’s decision to increase production of Nuclear weapons by having an eighteen page special on Peter Andre’s new kitchen.

Meanwhile, the Beano was invited to report on the White House after being one of the few publications the President could understand.

It is thought that their press credentials could be the next to be revoked after a Dennis the Menace strip in which Dennis and Gnasher play a trick on the President was described by Mr Spicer as ‘fake news’.

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