Monday 6 October 2014

Vatican declares official ‘miracle’ after Audi driver indicates before lane change


Audi A4 indicating miracle

Vatican officials are this morning on the verge of declaring a new saint after witnesses claimed an Audi A4 indicated before pulling out into the fast lane on the M4 during today’s rush hour.

The miraculous incident was not caught on camera, leading many to question its authenticity.

Atheist Simon Williams told us, “Why do the Catholic church always leap to God as a way to explain the unexplainable?

“There are plenty of perfectly legitimate explanations for this morning’s unusual occurrence. Loads.

“I mean, it could have been a simple trick of the light. Or a fault in the car itself, or maybe even water in the electrics, it was raining heavily I believe.

“I just think that giving God credit for an Audi that indicates dismisses too many far more plausible reasons for it to happen.”

Audi miracle

Theologians at the Vatican however have begun the search for a suitable Saint to take credit for what is being hailed inside the church as “the miracle of the Audi lights”.

Father Padraig Matthews told us, “It is important that we give heavenly credit for the miracles that present themselves to us, and so a suitable Saint must be found.

“They obviously move in mysterious ways, and seem to like cars, so we’re thinking ‘Saint Jeremy Clarkson’. But I hear he’s still alive, at least until Argentina gets its hands on him.

“So we’ll just keep looking for now.”

The final word went to Audi driver Mike James who told us, “Sorry about all the fuss, I just thought I was turning the windscreen wipers on.”

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