Friday 1 June 2012

Government performs U-turn on willingness to perform U-turns


Government performs u-turn on u-turns

The government has announced a U-turn in its willingness to perform U-turns, insisting there will be no more U-turns after their latest U-turn.

Chancellor George Osborne has dropped plans to limit tax relief on charitable donations, in a move he has been quick to label “more of an O-turn than a U-turn, as we’re back facing the way we started.”

Critics has claimed the latest U-turn is further sign that we shouldn’t trust the words of people that we already shouldn’t trust.

Political analyst Simon Williams told us, “If you thought George Osborne could introduce sensible economic policy without making a few dozen mistakes in need of retraction along the way, then you’re probably still cleverer than most in government office.”

“Of course, Tory HQ will insist this is not so much a change of mind, as the revealing of what was their original plans all along.”

“But I’ll leave it up to you to determine how much of that is utter bullshit.”

Latest government U-turn

Charities have welcomed the latest u-turn, insisting it will help safeguard donations but admitting they are tempted to say that the cap was actually a good idea just to ‘see what would happen’.

Charity board member Dave Michaelson told us, “This is a positive move, definitely – but I can’t help thinking it would be worth it to get every charity to write to George and demand a new cap on tax relief on donations.”

“I think we could probably confuse him into tears.”

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: