Man’s dry January scuppered by weekend

Plans not to touch a drop of alcohol for the entirety of January were derailed by a ‘weekend’, local man Simon Williams has admitted this morning.

Dry January, which is either seen as a chance to try and recover from Christmas and the New Year or used by smug people to swank about how they’ve got loads of self-control and willpower, lasted precisely four days until the first Friday back at work proved too much.

Friends reported that Simon had done ‘very well’ for almost 96 hours until the suggestion of a ‘swift one’ after work completely blew it for him.

“He said he’d come along but he was on Coke or maybe a blackcurrant and soda as he was doing dry January,” sources close to the scene told us.

“And then at about half seven on friday night he said ‘Sod it, one won’t hurt’ and… well… that was that.

“He just hadn’t factored weekends into his plan – I think that if he’d just done nothing but sleep and work for the entirety of January it might have been possible, but it wasn’t to be.”

When asked, Simon said that although he’d failed at dry January he’s still definitely going to do that Tough Mudder in may.

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