EU grateful that UK didn’t choose someone ‘very clever’ to lead Brexit department

After David Davis said he didn’t have to be very clever to do his job, negotiators for the EU have admitted that they are extremely grateful that this is the case.

After David Davis revealed himself as an intellectual lightweight on national radio, Chief negotiator for the EU, Michel Barnier, explained to reporters that there was nothing surprising in the revelation.

He told them, “No, it doesn’t not surprise me. You can tell by how well the negotiations are going – from our side, obviously.

“There is nothing worse than negotiating with someone who is very clever.

“They have often thought through the implications of every potential position they’re negotiating from, and can often have plans B, C and D lined up behind their plan A if things go in a different direction.

“It’s extremely difficult to get exactly what you want when you’re facing one of these super-bright people across a negotiating table.

“Thankfully, the UK chose David Davis, who openly admits he’s not very clever and for some reason seems to consider this a virtue.”

Others inside the EU have spoken out, announcing their surprise at Davis’ public admission.

Another member of the EU negotiating team told us, “I know there will be some Brexit supporters who will say this is a bluff on Mr Davis’ part, and others will insist that he’s lulling us into a false sense of security by describing himself as not very clever.

“Well, I’ve sat across from him in these meetings, and let me tell you, this admission is the most honest thing he’s told the British public in years.”

I think, therefore I am (not a Brexit supporter) – get the t-shirt here!

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