Tractors sexy, insist farmers
by Davywavy 9 years ago 
Several tons of potatoes isn’t the only thing you can pull in a tractor, the nation’s farmers have confirmed.
The real reason they cruise at eight miles an hour down the middle of the road is to give the ladies a real good view of that hot tractor action, according to a statement issued at t’crack of dawn this morning.
Calling the combination of flat cap, overalls held on with baler twine and a hundred horsepower of agricultural machinery ‘a triple whammy of sex’, farmer Simon Williams explained that he wasn’t deliberately holding up traffic but just giving the honeys a gooood long look.
“Massey Ferguson? More like Massive Johnson,” he told us. “Am I right or am I right, ladies?
“All you boy racers with your go-faster stripes and metallic paint are getting it wrong. What women want is to be stuck behind a John Deere on the A14 during rush hour, getting all the time they need to check out my rear end and hydraulic hitch – if you catch my drift.
“I need a shitty stick to fight them off after that, so it’s a good thing I’m a farmer as I’ve got several of those.
“And when I talk about hooking up the muckspreader that’s a euphemism for anal sex,” he added, unnecessarily.
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