Sir Michael Fallon quits to join the A-Team

Defence secretary Sir Michael Fallon has sensationally quit his position as Defence Secretary to join a crack commando unit who operate as soldiers of fortune in the Los Angeles underground.

“Well, we’re thrilled to have Sir Michael on-board,” said Templeton ‘Faceman’ Peck.

“The man has tremendous experience with standing near people in the armed forces so I’m sure we’ll really benefit from that.

“For his part, I think he’ll really enjoy working in the Los Angeles underground, helping out lots of desperate, vulnerable young women who will be forced to put up with anything to get their problems solved.

“That’s going to be right up his street.”

Sadly, Sir Michael’s first mission with the A-Team wasn’t a resounding success.

On learning that a local landowner’s henchmen were bullying folk in a simple country town in the Midwest, the A-Team rushed to their aid.

Sir Michael agreed to meet a young teenage representative of the village in a secluded barn.

“After a few minutes there was a scream followed by a yelp of pain and Sir Michael came out clutching between his legs,” said Peck.

“The girl said she’d rather deal with the bullying henchmen than that Sir Michael Fallon creep.

“I wonder if we can get him on some sort of course.”

If you have a problem, if nobody else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire Sir Michael Fallon’s A-Team, providing you don’t mind if they get a little handsy.