Simple Minds sued after failing to produce promised miracle

Eighties rock pioneers Simple Minds are facing legal action after consistently failing to produce a miracle that, it is claimed, was first promised as far back as 1982.

The case is being brought by Alex Epps, a Simple Minds fan from Sussex.

“It’s the lies I can’t stand,” said Ms Epps, sadly.

“They promised me a miracle. On numerous occasions. Yet do I ever get a miracle? Oh No. It’s like – ‘I’m Jim Kerr, I’m a big star, I can do what I like, I can promise you a miracle and not give you one.’

“It’s like they’ve forgotten us. The fans. The fans who were promised a miracle.”

Ms Epps is happy to accept any miracle.

“Oh absolutely, walking on water, fish into wine, Boris Johnson shutting up and going away – literally any miracle will do.

“Look, to be honest, I’m not even sure if I want a miracle. If Simple Minds hadn’t promised me one, I probably wouldn’t be too bothered either way. But the fact is that they did promise me a miracle, and you don’t break a promise.

“I bet if U2 promised you a miracle, you’d get a bloody miracle.”

It is thought that Simple Minds will be countersuing Ms Epps after she briefly forgot about them in 2009.

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