I am the Captain now, house spider tells terrified home owners

A family from Bracknell are living in fear after a huge house spider told them “This is my house now, and I just let you live in it”.

The Williams family were sat watching the television last night when the spider stormed into the room and left them all petrified.

Simon Williams told us, “I don’t know how he got in, but once he was there he was dead calm – just walking up and down in front of us, turning to face us every now and again so we could see how serious he was about his demands.

“Apparently we should do as he says and no-one will get hurt. He gets the bathroom now, it belongs to him, and if he sees anyone approaching with a big glass, there will be ‘serious trouble’.

“My missus wants me to take him on to try and save the kids, but I’m no hero, and I think if we all just stick together and do exactly as he says, we might one day get rescued. That can definitely happen.”

The family has begun their new life of terror by all sleeping in the lounge under one blanket, taking it in turns to keep watch.

Deborah Williams told us, “I blame Simon; he should have taken him on in battle the very moment he jumped out in front of us to take command of the house – but now he’s settled into a routine there’s just no way of getting rid of him.

“I knew we should have got a cat.”