Labour accuses pigeons of attempting a soft coo

Senior figures in the Labour Party have accused the pigeons on their windowsill of attempting a soft coo against Jeremy Corbyn.

The pigeons, which are best known for strutting around and crapping everywhere with a mindless self-absorption, have been eyeing up the leader and are feared to be scheming something.

The failure of pigeons to support Corbyn with a perpetual harsh and raucous squawking is being interpreted as ill-will and a failure to pull together.

Senior policy advisor Simon Williams claims he heard a ‘plot’ from the pigeons, although he conceded that the sound may have just been a piece of pigeon poo hitting his windowpane.

However, others within the party say supporters of Corbyn are looking in the wrong place for a challenge to the leadership.

“There’s a bunch of weak and ineffectual figures already in the party working to bring Jeremy down from the inside”, we were told.

“That’s right, we’ve got a cuck-coup in the nest.”

Pigeons have denied the accusations, saying the claims are ‘Fake Coos’.

Advertisement

Classic BritishComedy tees

Celebrating the best of British comedy from the 70s, 80s, 90s and beyond.

See the full collection →