Noel Gallagher to take time out to learn elusive fourth chord

Following his shock departure from his band Oasis, Noel Gallagher has confirmed he will be taking time out to learn a fourth chord.

Noel left the band citing abuse from his brother Liam which had made his position as the band’s creative driving force no longer tenable

Noel said, “I’m sad to be leaving, but it will be nice to spend some time trying perfect a fourth chord.”

“I can work on some solo material once I’ve nailed it, and I will be a 33% better guitarist for it.”

Sibling rivalry

The war of words between the the brothers continues as Liam confirmed the remaining members of Oasis were already auditioning lead guitarists, and that one of them already knows five chords, including a fabled ‘minor’ one.

“That’s typical of Liam, trying to get one over on me and ignoring the music,” continued Noel.

“But he’s the idiot, because everyone knows you can’t put five chords into one album, it just doesn’t fit.”

However Liam was unrepentant, “This will make Oasis even better.”

“There is a whole world of chord structures out there for us to discover, apparently there are books on it and everything.”

“I can even put my microphone stand at the right height now, as Noel has been raising it a few inches before every gig for years.”

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