Scottish banknotes featuring women to be worth 20% less than male money

New Scottish banknotes featuring important women in the nation’s history will be worth 20% less in order to reflect how society values modern women.

The Royal Bank of Scotland revealed that the Scottish novelist Nan Shepherd will feature on the £5 note, and scientist Mary Somerville will feature on the £10 note when it comes into circulation later next year.

However, to ensure that the new notes truly reflect society’s attitudes to female equality, the notes will be worth £4 and £8 respectively.

A spokesperson for the bank explained, “Yes, the female banknotes are doing precisely the same job as the male banknotes, but unfortunately society currently dictates that they’re actually worth less.

“However, we feel that everyone should focus on the positive side of this story, and that is to see how female money is now allowed to do the job of male money, and to do it just as well.

“One day, society will be ready to value female money as highly as male money, but that day is not today.”

Scottish consumers have welcomed the move, with Edinburgh resident Simon Williams telling us, “I’m all for women’s rights and female equality. I’m basically a feminist with testicles.

“So how about we address the gender pay gap by giving women a 20% pay rise, but then just pay them with the new notes – surely that’s a deal we call all get behind?”