I’ve always loved the cricket, insists everyone

As England ended a 75-year wait for a test victory against Australia at Lords, absolutely everybody has claimed to be a long-time cricket lover.

The 115 run victory may have surprised the experts, but everybody else is claiming they knew England would win all along.

One supporter said, “I definitely love cricket – those Flintoff brothers Andrew and Freddie have done brilliantly, all the home runs they hit were amazing.”

“And then there were all the conversions they got at the end there, incredible!”

Ashes mania

With Ashes mania expected to hit the nation now that it seems we might actually win a series against Australia, long-time cricket lovers have outed themselves in workplaces everywhere.

“It’s funny, I’d never realised how much I love cricket until yesterday,” said one cricket fan.

“I mean, I’ve never been to a game, or watched it on the telly, and I wouldn’t know an England cricketer if he punched me in the face.”

“But it’s clear that subconsciously, I’ve always loved cricket to my very core, because when I heard the score, and that we’d beaten Australia, I couldn’t stop smiling.”

“So from this point on, I am a committed member of England’s fan base.”

“Right up until we lose the next match to Australia.”