Redknapp to punish under-performing QPR stars by paying them to sit on bench instead

Newly appointed QPR manager, Harry Redknapp, has issued a threat to his new charges, urging them to prove they merit being overpaid on the pitch, or risk a spell being overpaid from the bench.

The former Spurs boss, who denied feigning interest in becoming manager of the Ukrainian national team to speed up his appointment, hopes the broadside will leave his playing staff in no doubt as to the serious repercussions of failing to perform on a regular basis.

Redknapp told reporters at a Loftus Road press conference, “It’s of great importance that the boys know exactly what can happen to them and their families if they continue to fail to deliver on the pitch for QPR.”

“The financial implications can be massive, let me tell me you.”

“If they think picking up a big fat pay cheque for running around like a headless chicken for 90 minutes is hard work, well how about picking up an identically sized big fat pay cheque for doing absolutely nothing from the bench instead?”

“How devastating would that be, eh?”

Redknapp on QPR

Redknapp went on to list a further raft of idle threats that carried about as much gravitas as a line in a Nick Clegg compiled manifesto.

“If think getting paid tens of thousands a week to sit on a bench is bad, they ain’t seen nothing yet,” he continued.

“Between 3pm and 4.45 on a Saturday they will be barred from entering all the houses that the club bought for them.”

“That’ll teach em.”

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