Clinton applauds Obama’s refusal to be sucked off by an intern

Former US President Bill Clinton has delivered a prime-time defence of Barack Obama’s presidency, paying particular attention to the lack of blow-jobs while in office from people other than his wife.

Clinton launched a full-throated defence of Obama’s policies and his ability to serve four years in the White House without ejaculating on anyone’s dress.

His 50-minute speech at the Democratic convention in Charlotte, North Carolina, was strongly critical of Republican economic plans, while praising Obama’s ability to bring down the White House’s laundry bill.

Clinton went on to describe Obama’s challenger Mitt Romney as ‘untested’, and that voters should be wary of electing a man who might react unpredictably to somebody in bright red lipstick crawling underneath his desk.

And Clinton slammed Romney’s stated aim to install a new working desk in the Oval Office in case the existing one still has traces of spunk on it dating back to 1996.

Clinton DNC address

The former president went on to remind voters of the size of the problem inherited by Obama and that it would have been understandable if he had chosen to relieve some of the pressure by summoning in an intern and pointing towards his groin.

Addressing the packed conference, Clinton said, “Let me assure voters that the only thing blown in the White House during the last four years is the federal budget.”

Placing an arm around the president, he continued, “Mitt Romney claims to speak for the people of America. I don’t swallow that, Monica Lewinsky certainly doesn’t swallow that. Are you going to swallow that?”

“If so, how are you going to swallow it? Uncle Bill wants to know..”

He added, “At the end of this term of office, I can safely say that you will be able to look this president in the eye without being down on your knees.”