Georgia executes man they’re pretty sure did it

The American state of Georgia last night executed Troy Davis, after last-minute appeals were rejected because the state was still pretty sure he killed an off-duty policeman in 1989.

A world-wide human rights campaign was seeking a reprieve for Davis, but it was ultimately unsuccessful due to lots of pretty strong gut feelings about the whole thing among Georgian officials.

A state spokesperson said, “Troy Davis was pronounced dead at 11:08 this evening after everyone involved in prosecuting the case admitted they were really quite confident that he did it.”

“This sends out a clear message that we will use the fullest extent of the law if we ever have reason to believe that you might have killed a policeman.”

“Of course this case was proved beyond reasonable doubt, it’s just that reasonable doubt means something a bit less here.”

“For example, we’re all convinced there’s an invisible sky fairy looking after us. And yes, we kill people in the name of the law.”

Troy Davis executed

Pro-death penalty activists celebrated the execution, claiming it showed that Georgia is no soft touch when it comes to making tough decisions about things it is reasonably sure about.

Cletus Michaels told us, “The message is clear, we have the death penalty so don’t give us reason to think you might have done something bad.”

“What we have here is a lot of important people being pretty sure about something, and taking appropriate action. How can that possibly be a bad thing?”