Italians riot as tourist orders cappuccino after 11am

Italians are rioting across the country after a tourist decided to order a cappuccino at 11:05am.

Demonstrations have continued around Italy over the past week, though many have wrongly attributed the riots to the rising cost of living instead of the true catalyst – incorrect coffee etiquette.

“I didn’t even know it was a rule,” said tourist Simon Williams, watching Milan burn down around him. 

“I’d just finished breakfast and the waiter asked if I’d like anything else. I thought a cappuccino sounded quite nice, so I ordered one. That’s when the first brick came through the window and hit me square in the face.

“Suddenly, hundreds of people wearing balaclavas were out on the street. I had no idea they took this unwritten rule so seriously. 

“I mean, it was ON the menu. Surely if they were going to have such a shit-fit about it, they’d have taken it off the menu in the first place, right? It seems a slight overreaction if you ask me. It’s not like I’ve asked for a spoon to eat my spaghetti with. Okay, I did do that too. But I definitely didn’t ask for ketchup, even though I really wanted some. 

“I just hope the riots die down soon. I’d hate to think protestors broke into the Colosseum just because of my actions.

“I also really hope they stop burning the effigy of me, too. It’s really scaring my kids.”

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