Harry Kane spotted inside large ball of cotton wool

Harry Kane has been spotted wrapped up inside an extra large ball of cotton wool it is revealed today.

With England due to start their World Cup campaign in just over a week, and all of the other strikers unable to hit a cow’s arse with a shovel, striker Harry Kane has been forced to spend the entire week inside a large ball of cotton wool to prevent him from getting injured. 

Commenting on the news England fan Simon Williams told us “Fair enough really. We can’t take any chances”

“Did you see the other strikers on Saturday, they were absolutely shite, as were much of the team really. I mean one-nil against New Zealand. Fuck me.

“If Harry Kane get’s injured we’re fucked. Absolutely fucked. I mean who else is going to score a goal. Seriously? 

“Toney missed a sitter from six yards out. Against New Zealand. If that was Spain we’d have lost eight-one.

“So yes, I think it’s wholly necessary to wrap Harry in cotton wool for the next few days, and just pray we get a chance and he can give us a one goal lead to defend. 

Asked how far he thinks England can go in this year’s World Cup we were told, “Fingers crossed we get out of the group. As long as Harry is fit”

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