‘2-for-1 on shots’ – Lineker’s Bar offers refuge for virus-stricken ship passengers 

Lineker’s Bar has offered refuge today for virus-stricken ship passengers with a 2-for-1 offer on shots for anyone forced to stay in the Canary Islands because they might have hantavirus. 

The bar on Veronicas Strip in Tenerife revealed the offer this morning after hearing the amazing news that a boat load of potential customers were heading to the island.

A spokesperson for Lineker’s told us, “Yeah it’s 2-for-1, and there are loads of birds in there.

“It’s peach schnapps too, so you know it’s good.  Or you can spend an extra euro and get a tequila. 

“We don’t give a shit about the virus, as it’s fucking carnage in here most nights anyway, with the floor covered in sick. 

“So we’re just happy for the extra customers, and to be able to do our bit to cheer everyone up. 

“It’s full of birds out back, I’m telling you, or fellas if you are already a bird. You know what I mean. 

“Just follow the guys with the flyers and you will be fine. “

Asked if they are worried about spreading a virus around the island by encouraging people to mix, we were told “Nah, fuck it. Hey we do fish bowls for 15 euros, too.”

Advertisement

WANT TO GET RIDOF ALL THE ADS?

Support topical satire for the price of one coffee month!

SUBSCRIBE HERE →