“I don’t look at half the sh*t I share online”, insists Trump
by Rich Smith 9 months ago 
Donald Trump has reassured supporters that he is deeply offended anyone would assume he watches or reads any of the things he posts online, explaining that if he did that, he’d “never get any posting done”.
The President clarified that his social media process is actually very simple: if something flatters him, confirms one of his long-held lies, or features a picture of him looking slimmer than reality, it is immediately shared, no questions asked, no play button pressed, and certainly no thinking involved.
“I share thousands of things every week,” Trump told reporters.
“Some people read books. I don’t. Some people watch videos. I don’t. I just share the ones I think help me. That’s real leadership.”
According to sources close to Trump, his feed is curated using a strict three-point checklist:
- Does it say Trump is amazing?
- Does it say people he doesn’t like are corrupt or evil?
- Does it suggest the election was stolen by a mysterious cabal that somehow forgot to steal the House, the Senate, and most state races?
If the answer to any of the above is “yes”, the content is instantly posted “as Donald J Trump”, regardless of who made it, what it contains, or whether it depicts anyone as a cartoon gorilla.
Following backlash, blame was swiftly redirected to “a staffer”, raising the entirely reasonable question of who exactly is speaking when Trump speaks online. Is it Trump? A junior aide? A man whose sole job is to Google “Trump strong man image” and click share?
Observers noted that if Joe Biden had a staffer posting inflammatory content as Joe Biden, there would be absolute uproar, congressional hearings, and at least six men on YouTube screaming into webcams about democracy being dead.
Trump, however, insists this is totally different.
“When I post something bad, it’s not me,” he said. “When I post something good, it’s definitely me. Very me. The best me.”
Experts confirmed this logic is flawless, assuming your definition of logic has been legally redefined as whatever argument is currently convenient.
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