Lord Mandelson resigns from Labour to pursue dream of becoming Calvin Klein underwear model

Lord Mandelson has resigned from the Labour Party it is revealed today, to pursue his lifelong dream of becoming a Calvin Klein underwear model.

Following further revelations from the release of documents from the Epstein files, including photographs of Mandelson in his underwear, it has now emerged that Lord Mandelson will immediately begin working as an underwear model.

A spokesperson for Calvin Klein confirmed, “We’ve seen the photos, he looked really sexy. Those white briefs are the most viewed underwear on the Internet in 2026 so far.

“So we can confirm that we have today secured the services of Lord Mandelson as our latest male underwear model, because he’s really sexy and will definitely sell lots of undies.

“We were looking for a new underwear model, to promote our new range ill-fittinf Y-fronts and boxers for the elder gentleman, and then we spotted this incredibly sexy man in some photos in the news and we simply had to get him signed up.

“Thankfully, he appears to be leaving his current role and has immediately become available. The sexy beast.”

Asked if they are aware of the context of the photos they’d seen. and where the photos came from, we were told, “Erm… Sorry, we’ve just Googled it. F**k.”

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