Trump invites Fox to join Henhouse Board of Peace

In a bold new step for poultry-based diplomacy, Donald Trump has today announced that a fox will be joining his new Henhouse Board of Peace, a move he described as “tremendous for unity, terrific for feathers, and frankly very fair to everyone involved, especially the fox.”

Speaking from a podium hastily assembled out of reclaimed barn doors, Trump explained that the fox was uniquely qualified for the role due to its “deep understanding of hens, hen psychology, and where hens tend to hide when frightened.

“Some people say the fox has a conflict of interest,” Trump went on. “Wrong. Totally wrong. Nobody knows peace like someone who’s spent years chasing it, and sometimes catching and eating it.”

The fox, wearing a tiny lapel badge shaped like a drumstick, nodded solemnly and promised to bring “balance” to the board.

“For too long,” it said, licking its lips, “this henhouse has been run exclusively by hens. That’s not inclusive. I’m here to listen, to build trust, and to make sure security concerns are addressed. Mainly my concerns, admittedly..”

Critics have raised concerns that appointing a fox to oversee henhouse peace might result in, at best, awkward meetings and, at worst, a noticeable drop in the hen population.

Trump dismissed these fears as “fake squawking,” insisting that the fox had given his word not to eat any hens during official sessions.

“He’ll only advise,” Trump clarified. “Advising is different from eating.”

Under the proposed charter, the fox will have veto power over any motion involving locks, fences, guard dogs, or early-warning systems. Trump praised this as “a sign of trust,” adding, “If you can’t trust a fox around chickens, who can you trust?”

At press time, several hens were reportedly considering alternative housing arrangements, while the fox was said to be drafting a comprehensive peace plan entitled Less Clucking, More Cooperation (and Snacks).

Trump concluded the announcement by calling it “the most peaceful henhouse in history,” moments before the lights went out and feathers began drifting gently through the air.