Mike Graham leaves TalkTV to launch the UK’s first concrete-growing farm

Mike Graham has responded to his unceremonious sacking by TalkTV by opening the nation’s first organic concrete farm.

Graham was originally suspended for posting the sort of tweet usually associated with alcoholic racists, before deleting it and insisting he’d been ‘hacked’. However, bosses at TalkTV decided it was too much, even for them, and Graham was asked to leave permanently.

Since then, Graham has been focusing on his dream of becoming a concrete farmer, and this week launched the UK’s first organic concrete farm, which he hopes will yield several hundred tons of concrete each season.

He told reporters, “Many of you scoffed when I suggested you can grow concrete, well here I am to prove you all wrong, and to make a fortune doing it.

“I might only be starting with a few hundred seedlings, or ‘breeze blocks’ to the uninitiated, but come the Spring, I’ll be sitting on an absolute fortune in concrete.

“I mean no, the concrete isn’t showing any signs of growing yet, but it’s mid-November, it’s not exactly peak growing season for anything on the farm. I suspect we won’t see any significant concrete growth until February or March.

“Then I’ll rub ALL your noses in it.”

Meanwhile, locals have revealed that they intend to replace one concrete block with a slightly larger one each week throughout the winter, in the hope that Graham continues his very public descent into madness.