Keir Starmer to bring back ‘Mind Your Language’

author avatar by 1 year ago

In a further attempt to capitulate to the dimwitted racists who shout at hotels, Prime Minister Keir Starmer has announced plans to bring back the sitcom Mind Your Language.

“I can confirm that under my government, Mind your Language will return to UK screens,” said Sir Keir.

“It’s about time that British people are once again given the chance to laugh at foreigners and their stupid, backward ways after they’ve finished their teas on Thursday evenings.”

Mind Your Language was a 1980s sitcom which featured characters like a sexy French woman and a stern and efficient German man. This was hilarious because French women are all sexy and German men are all stern and efficient.

The news has been warmly welcomed by people with flags as profile pictures.

“There’s absolutely nothing wrong with laughing at foreigners,” said Kevin Flag, a divorced man who has very limited access to the kids.

“After a hard day of hanging flags off things, I look forward to being able to have a nice tea of Findus Crispy Pancakes, then drinking six cans of strong lager and enjoying the hilarious antics of those silly foreign people before soiling myself and then crying myself to sleep.”

It is expected that the Prime Minister will use his conference speech next month to announce the return of Love Thy Neighbour.

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