Chris Mason: God, Nigel Farage is well fit. I fancy him loads
by Neil Tollfree 1 year ago 
I’m Chris Mason. Inexplicably, I’m the Political Editor for the BBC.
The most consequential and effective politician of the century so far has been Nigel Farage.
He’s also totally fit. I fancy him loads.
When he stands there doing his racism, I just want him to sweep me up in his strong racist arms and hold me.
He has the most exquisite eyes. I could lose myself in them forever, when he speaks about sending all the foreigners back to where they came from and his eyes land on me, I feel like I’m swimming in a moonlit pool. Naked. With Nigel Farage. Who is also naked.
The BBC has been criticised in the past year for featuring Nigel Farage on a daily and sometimes hourly basis.
I would argue that it’s obvious why we feature him so much. He’s absolutely lush. I get all sorts of tingly feelings in my bits when I look at him. I just close my eyes and imagine what it would be like to run through the fields with Nigel Farage hand in hand, and then we fall to the ground together laughing and just hold each other.
And that’s why he is seen so often on the BBC.
So, to conclude then. Nigel Farage; phoar, eh? I bloody would.
Chris Mason. The actual BBC Political Editor.
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