Government performs U-turn on its willingness to perform U-turns

The government has announced a U-turn in its willingness to perform U-turns, insisting there will be no more U-turns after their latest U-turn.

Prime Minister Keir Starmer has dropped plans to reform the welfare system, in a move he has been quick to label “more of an O-turn than a U-turn, as we’re back facing the way we started.”

Critics has claimed the latest U-turn is further sign that we shouldn’t trust the words of people that we already shouldn’t trust.

Political analyst Simon Williams told us, “If you thought Keir Starmer could introduce sensible government policy without making a few dozen mistakes in need of retraction along the way, then you’re probably still cleverer than most in government office.”

“Of course, Labour HQ will insist this is not so much a change of mind, as the revealing of what was their original plans all along.”

“But I’ll leave it up to you to determine how much of that is utter bullshit.

“We can add this u-turn to the winter fuel u-turn and the grooming gangs u-turn. It’s fast becoming the case that if you don’t like a government policy, you just have to wait a few weeks and see they they change their mind.”