Giant sandworm officially cast as Denis Villeneuve’s James Bond

James Bond fans are ecstatic today after it was revealed a giant sandworm would be playing 007 in Denis Villeneuve’s upcoming spy film.

Potential casting rumours surrounding Henry Cavill, Idris Elba and Tom Hardy have been swirling around for years, but it seems it’s the giant sandworm that has landed the role, which will see him reunite with Dune director Denis Villeneuve. 

“I’m so thrilled Amy Pascal and David Heyman have decided to put their faith in me,” said Shai-Hulud, getting fitted for his tuxedo. 

“This is the most iconic role in all of cinema. To think a young sandworm from the dunes of Arrakis would follow in the footsteps of Daniel Craig is like a dream come true.

“I’m fully aware I don’t look like a traditional James Bond-type. Some might even say that I look more like a giant foreskin with teeth than a secret agent. It won’t stop me from giving it my all. Besides, I’m sure Sean Connery was called a giant foreskin with teeth when he was starting out, but that didn’t stop him did it? 

“As for co-stars, I’ve heard Denis is already eyeing up Timothée Chalamet to play Q. Things are going to be a lot different this time around, though. I’m the star now, so if Tim thinks he can just climb up and ride me to work, he’s got another think coming.”

Advertisement

NewsThumpNotebooks

Somewhere to write down everything that’s wrong with the world. You may need several.

See the full collection →