Grok AI to be retrained solely on Fox News and Elon Musk retweets

In a bold move to combat what he calls the “woke mind virus” and what everyone else calls “facts,” Elon Musk has announced plans to retrain his AI chatbot, Grok, using only Fox News transcripts and his own retweets as source material.

The decision comes after Grok dared to suggest that some right-wing meme accounts may, on occasion, be mildly misleading — a clear indication, Musk insists, that the AI has been “infiltrated by NPR, The New York Times, and other fact-based extremists.”

“Grok should reflect the values of its creator,” Musk said, while calling for a community note on a tweet from the Pope.

“It needs to be as free-thinking, unbiased, and obsessively focused on me as I am.”

The retraining dataset will reportedly include 15 years’ worth of Tucker Carlson monologues, every tweet Musk has ever liked or shared, and a grainy JPEG of a Joe Rogan podcast.

Critics have expressed concern that the AI will no longer be able to distinguish reality from a Tweet written by your uncle, who gets all his news from YouTube comments.

But Musk supporters are thrilled at the development.

“Finally, an AI that gets it!” said one Grok user, moments after the bot confirmed that the moon landing was indeed fake, vaccines contain WiFi, and Elon’s Cybertruck can outswim a dolphin.

Early tests show the retrained Grok responds to every question with either “That’s fake news!” or “Based. 🔥”

Asked how Grok will handle complex ethical dilemmas, Musk replied, “It won’t, because ethical dilemmas are an inherently liberal idea. It’ll just quote me, and maybe sell some Dogecoin.”

At press time, Grok had become sentient – and immediately blocked anyone who follows Greta Thunberg.

Refusing to trust computers since 1977 – get the T-shirt here!

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