Gordon Ramsay attempts to bring world peace in ‘Ramsay’s Diplomatic Nightmares’

Celebrity chef and troubleshooter Gordon Ramsay has been called in to try and ease the escalating tensions between the US, Israel and Iran in his brand new series ‘Ramsay’s Diplomatic Nightmares’.

After spending the last 20 years pretending to save failing restaurants, the world-famous chef is now taking on the biggest challenge of his career so far – achieving world peace.

“Wow, fuck me,” said Ramsay, slapping his hands together outside of the White House.

“I knew we were in the shit, but I didn’t realise things had gotten this bad. Fuck me. I wouldn’t trust these lunatics to run a bath, let alone a country. Firing missiles and dropping bombs on each other? Quite frankly, it’s embarrassing.

“Wow, what a shame. I’ve met some donkeys in my time, but these jokers really take the cake. None of them have got a fucking clue how to negotiate peace. If they’re not careful, this world could be closing its doors within the week.

“And the worst part? Their attitude fucking stinks. I don’t see any desire from Trump, Netanyahu or Khamenei to kiss and make up. Believe me. If I don’t see a bit of diplomacy in the next 24 hours then I can assure you all those nuclear weapons will be going straight up their fucking arses.

“Wow, fuck me.”