Portugal celebrate winning the Thingy Cup

Portugal are Thingy Cup Champions 2025.

After a dramatic penalty shootout in last night’s final Portugal emerged as champions and lifted the Thingy Cup Thing in front of jubilant fans who had no idea what they had won.

Football fan Simon Williams, who stayed up to watch the final because he’ll basically watch anything, told us, “Amazing! I’m so happy for them becoming champions of… erm… you know… that thingy cup thing.

“I bet the fans are so happy. It’s such a great achievement and everyone knows exactly what they have won, sort of.

“And Ronaldo, what an achievement for him scoring in a thingy cup final to go with all his other goals in actual games. 

“I was right on the edge of my seat I can tell you, because I’ll watch any old shit to get my football fix.”

Asked if he has any idea how the Nations League format works and at what stage England went out, we were told, “Absolutely no idea.”

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