Trump inauguration descends into chaos as Bible bursts into flames

Donald Trump’s inauguration ceremony has descended into chaos this afternoon as the Bible used for his oath of office spontaneously combusted, prompting widespread speculation that divine forces might not be thrilled about his presidency.

The incident occurred as Chief Justice John Roberts began reciting the oath of office. Trump, with his hand resting on what MAGA fans are now calling a “booby-trapped holy book”, had barely uttered the words “so help me God” when the leather-bound tome erupted into a blaze, sending smoke and ash wafting over the Capitol steps.

Witnesses described the moment as, “biblically awkward.”

“At first, I thought it was a special effect, like something from his rallies,” said one attendee. “But then I heard someone yell, ‘THE LORD HAS SPOKEN!’ and I realised that maybe, just maybe, Trump has done some stuff the guy upstairs doesn’t like.”

Pundits were quick to offer interpretations. Some called it a metaphor for Trump’s complicated relationship with religious conservatives, while others theorised that God had simply read some of his tweets.

“It’s not every day you see a sacred text self-destruct,” said Dr. Chuck Williams, a professor of theology at Kettering University.

“Theologians call this a ‘smite-and-run.’ It’s rare, but definitive.”

The president appeared unfazed by the celestial pyrotechnics.

“Fake news! That wasn’t even the real Bible,” Trump insisted later, addressing an increasingly unhinged crowd.

“It was just a book, a nice book— but not the best book. That’s The Art of the Deal. God loves me, folks. Ask anyone!”

White House insiders report that Trump’s aides are scrambling to draft a backup plan involving an “extremely holy” paperback copy of The Art of the Deal for future swearing-in ceremonies.

Meanwhile, evangelicals remain divided.

“This is clearly a test of faith,” one supporter said. “And honestly, I think the Bible tried, but it failed.”